I love to have friendly debates. It’s a great way to “flesh out” the details of an issue and to get a glimpse of an issue from another’s vantage point. The problem is that not everyone can engage in a “friendly” debate. Too often, the debates turn into heated arguments and deteriorate from there. This leads to hurt feelings and can even result in doomed relationships.
You have to understand that not everyone knows the “ins and outs” of their argument. This is especially true when discussing such “hot button” topics as politics and religion (among others). People have a set of beliefs but they don’t always know why they believe what the do. They’ve heard trusted authorities say that they should believe a certain way, so they do. Many folks don’t bother to dig any deeper than that.
If you’re debating from a position of knowledge, having done considerable research on a subject, and your opponent is basing his entire argument on rhetoric or “talking points,” it won’t take too long for you to blow through his entire argument. Once that’s done, he has no place to retreat. Human nature and ego will usually prevent your opponent from admitting that his position may be flawed. After all, he has to be right. His “trusted authority figure” said so.
Rather than admit a mistake, when an argument is blown away, most people resort to “Plan B” – the personal attack. If a victory cannot be one on the battleground of ideas, one must try to make the opponent out to be defective. That’s when the name calling starts. It’s an attempt to save face and resurrect a dead argument.
In the past, I would get riled up when someone would call me names, or attempt to belittle my side of an argument. Then I realized that getting mad was exactly what they wanted me to do. I was playing right into their hand. That’s when I decided that I would not give them that pleasure anymore. Let me tell you, there are times when it takes great restraint to do this, but it’s worth the effort.
I will tell you that it became easier once I began to see their taunts for what they really are… a sign of desperation. Now, I start to grin (on the inside) as soon as the name calling starts because I know that I’ve got them and I just won this debate (argument).
Personally, I don’t think you should ever go out to be hurtful or mean, that’s just not right. Everyone has a right to their opinion, even if it disagrees with yours or mine and we need to respect that right. Likewise, someone should not be made to feel inferior because they have that opinion.
On the flip side, you shouldn’t jump in and take a stand on issues that you don’t understand. Know what you believe and why you believe it and have real facts from reputable, verifiable sources before you jump on the “battlefield.”
Once everyone learns to respect the rights of others, and to properly research their own “side,” there should be no need for the childish act of name calling. It’s unbecoming for children and especially so for adults.
Be blessed,
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Cheers to that! It seems to me that name calling and disrespect has only increased with the increased use of electronic social media. I feel like people use tactics and words in computerized responses that they would never dare to use in person.